Over the past few days, I’ve been feeling very strange. Even though I have been exercising, eating, and sleeping regularly and have been continuing to take my medicines and taking care of myself, I have been feeling increasingly more nervous, scared, depressed, and confused.
Being 15 is hard enough. My brain is in the process of a huge growth spurt, my body is growing and changing constantly, and I have tons of things that perplex and terrify me. Being an already sensitive person doesn’t help that. Having anxiety disorder really doesn’t help my situation, either.
Which is why when I start feeling bigger flare-ups of my anxiety (does it ever really go down?) my sensitivity makes it much worse. I’ll start to wonder why I’m feeling this way, what exactly is causing me this problem, and if there’s something the world is trying to tell me.
It’s so exhausting.
And I think that’s why I’ve been feeling sick lately. I can’t seem to eat too much without feeling ill. My stomach is absolutely turning and I can’t help it. It’s especially annoying because I’d like to eat!
My body hurts and is shaking. My heart is definitely beating harder and faster than normal and my breathing is deeper and more rapid.
And I know all of these things are happening to me. But I feel like I can’t do anything about them. Should I cry? Should I do something drastic, or should I just let it go and understand that sometimes I’m not going to feel great?
Hey, at least I like myself. I think I’m pretty great.